Have you ever text your BFF to relay your heartbreak after finding out (through your unmentionable, borderline crazy, stalker-like, super-sleuthing skills) that your long-time crush has a girlfriend, only to realize after receiving a quick and unsympathetic “LOL” that you’ve actually sent her a text about your long term “curds having a new guestroom”?
Sure you have.
Ever been talking to one of your best friends, who knows pretty much everything about you; you know the one who knows and understands how your mind works, about something you’re truly passionate about and just as she nods her head and finishes your sentence, you realize that while the completed statement makes perfect sense, and compliments the essence of yourself perfectly, it’s not quite what you meant?
You know you have.
Ever have one of those deep, life-altering conversations with your best-friend, mom, mentor, coworker, (insert other important individual whose opinion you truly value), meant to help figure out your purpose or next big move in life?
Of course you have.
Ever finish the conversation feeling like you’ve got this whole ‘adult’ situation figured out, and that “‘the world is your oyster,” only to later remember the person you actually are and realize that whatever you’ve come up with is never going to happen–not because it isn’t possible, but because you genuinely have no interest in that course of life?
That’s pretty much been the story of my adult life.
I recently had a conversation with my coworker, after which I was completely convinced that my dream life included moving into a cute little apartment on the beach in Puerto Vallarta. I listened with immense enthusiasm as he described how beautiful it was and how affordable it would be to have my cute little dream home. I could almost smell the salt of the ocean air as he explained the simplicity of my future commute. I began to map out my new move in my mind. Should I change bases and commute to Seattle and just crash with my mother? Should I find a cheap little crash pad in San Diego? How would I arrange my schedule? When would my friends be able to visit? When would I move? I had so many things to figure out, but it would all be worth it when I am listening to the ocean from the back porch of my sweet little dream home.
Off to Mexico, right?
Because, I’ve finally learned to proofread, so to speak.
I’m at an interesting point in this journey ‘they’ call life. I am ever discovering more about myself and the way I want my life to pan out (not that I have complete control over that per se, but that’s neither here nor there). Recently, I have realized that as a young adult it becomes quite easy to fall into the trap of making major life decisions and accepting parts of oneself in the same manner in which we send texts filled with typos. We trust that our loved ones (our real-life auto-correct) know enough about us to fill in the blanks. We choose to live and press send, only to later look back and realize that someone else has filled in his own idea of what our lives should be; and while what’s been changed or input ‘made sense,’ it very well may not have been exactly what we intended for ourselves.
As I meet and get to know so many wonderful people, I am ever inspired and dreaming anew; but, I have learned and am learning that some things are meant to remain an inspiration, rather than a part of my journey. I am quickly learning the importance of self-reflecting and editing before sending that text to my bestie about the super hot guts I met on my flight while making plans to move to Mexico.